Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Stupid Birthdays

Yeah, yeah, it was my birthday. I don't know what the big deal is, I hate birthdays. Everyone is just looking at me, think man, he is older now, look how fat he is. I KNOW I am the fat one. I should just kill myself.

My stupid "friends" didn't even get me a present, until I threatened to leave. How lame is that. Finally I got the most metal gift ever. Nathan gave me, President Kennedy's Dethcar with the driver's seat replaced with Lincoln's Dethchair. Best of all I got a chance to destroy it at the first-ever "Dethklok Dethmolition Klok-a-matae Deth Derby".

Yeah, it was cool. Not as cool as playing bass with my dick, but these guys don't know better.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Dethwater - Pentuple Platinum

Our latest album, Dethwater, has gones Pentuples Platinum. After 16 attempts to makes new album, we finally nails one. I spent mosts of my time in a chamber filleds with water. I writes "Underwater friends, you are my underwater underwater friends!"

I thinks my song is the coolest. Nathan said this is metal for fish. I says fish don'ts got no good metal to listens to, but now theys do!

Sunday, August 6, 2006

Coffe is Metal

Even though I hate blogs, I will start to keep a blog, because YOU, the fans will love it. I hate you fans, too.

Dethklok has succeeded in making coffee metal. We have made it blacker than the blackest black times infinity. Duncan Hills Coffee is so metal, it has put all other coffee makers out of business.